20 Cunning Jokes Only Grammar Geeks Will Appreciate
The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
Q: What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?A: One has claws and the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the ends of a clause.
‘Knock knock.”Who’s there?”To.”To who?”Actually, it’s to whom.’
Q: Why should you never date an apostrophe?A: They’re too possessive
Q: What do you call Santa’s little helpers?A: Subordinate clauses
Did you hear the one about the pregnant woman who went into labor and started shouting, ‘Couldn’t! Wouldn’t! Shouldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!’?She was having contractions.
A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar. No joke.
‘Saying ‘I’m sorry’ is the same as saying ‘I apologize’. Except at a funeral.’ —Demetri Martin
Q: Which dinosaur knows the most words?A: A Thesaurus
Q: What happened when the verb asked the noun to conjugate?A: The noun declined.
Q: Why did Shakespeare only write in ink?A: Pencils confused him — 2B or not 2B?
I invented a new word! Plagiarism.
Never leave alphabet soup on the stove and then go out.It could spell disaster.
When I was young there was only 25 letters in the alphabet.Nobody knew why.
Q: Which word becomes shorter after you add two letters to it?A: Short
Q: How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?A: Two. One to screw the bulb almost all the way in, and one to give a surprising twist at the end.
Q: What should you say to comfort a grammar nazi?A: ‘There, their, they’re.’
When I was a kid, my teacher looked my way and said, ‘Name two pronouns.’I said, ‘Who, me?’
I before e… except when you run a feisty heist on a weird beige foreign neighbor.
‘Write a wise saying and your name will live forever. ‘ —Anonymous.